Review of Feast (2005) by Alexander Y — 17 Aug 2012

Sadly, reading the spoliers in this review won't detract from the plot of this movie in the least. FEAST is a one note disappointment. The filmmakers admit to staging it inside a bar due to limited funds; obviously so they could blow the majority of the budget on gore.

Indeed, the blood is the unchallenged star of this film. To bad it didn't occur to them to spend some time on making sure the plot was worth seeing. At no time did it occur to the director, writers or producers to let the audience in on.

.. well anything. Not knowing any details on the origins or motivations of the creatures is often a given in splatter films, but this one takes it too many steps further. The whole film is as loose as a goose's ass.

For instance; when the Golden Girl is told she should be a nurse, we have no idea if the comment is straightforward or facetious. She's been throwing up, but the tone of voice indicates nothing. This voice comes from off camera but we're never given a reaction shot of the face that said it, so there's no indication of intention.

When the same girl is seen climbing out of a barrel later, we're surprised; but not in a good way. First thought; when the heck did she get in a barrel? Second; who came up with this plan? Was she in collusion with another member of the group? Even as she takes off, we're never given a single shot of her face to let us know what she is thinking, so the payoff of being surprised falls absolutely flat.

No info before, during or after means you haven't given the audience anything to grasp. I see from the deleted scenes on the DVD that they cut out the final creature withering in the sunlight and running into the shadows.

Of course the slam-bang fashion of the editing and plot leave us ignorant of how many creatures were keeping up with (mom, dad, two babies - and so many creature smashing shots and angles we've lost count).

Big mistake. This director apparently thinks it's more important that we be blindsided with a surprise at the end. Well, that works when the script is a smooth and taut vehicle; but not when it's a plot riddled with unexplained connections, thoughts, comments and motivations.

We aren't even ever let in on whether this is a parody (a la SCARY MOVIE) or not. It's takes itself too serious to be funny, but not serious enough to be good. They run around. They yell at each other.

There's blood. And none of it means anything. Who knows. Who cares. Not these filmmakers. The end.