Review of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965) by Remi V — 22 Dec 2008

I wanted to love this movie. I really did. By all intents and purposes, I should've since it's right up my alley; hot, curvaceous women, witty one-liners and a title that's just hella fun to say.

Unfortunately, I can only say I honestly loved the first twenty minutes of this film. From the opening voice-over, which contains one of my all-time favourite opening lines to a movie ever, to the introduction and various interplay between the three leads, I was enjoying the hell out of it.

Then they introduced the old man and the vegetable and the movie had all the fun sucked out of it. Instead, what we were left with was numerous scenes with the vegetable being insulted within his proximity and not saying or doing a damn thing except going crazy because he heard a train or running from place to place.

Then there was the creepy old guy who had pretty much the most lines in the flick because everything he said was a fucking monologue. They even tried to give him some depth by adding a backstory to explain his retarded logic but I just couldn't give a shit because he ate up the screentime, which should've went to the three leads.

I fucking loved all three of them. Tura Satana had an amazing rack, which was only enhanced by her choice of outfit. The only real problems I got with her is her creepy eyebrows and the fact that when she was pissed, she looked sort of like a transvestite and unnecessarily screamed a lot.

Otherwise, when she smiled and tried to sweet talk Kirk, it was easy to see why he'd be seduced by her. I mean, seriously, fantastic rack. Haji has an almost insulting accent but once I got used to it, I totally vibed to her character.

She didn't get to smile like the other girls but by the time the finale shit was going down, I was sad to see her go. Lori Williams was my favourite, though. Not only was she in it for the fun of it more than anything really criminal, her character stayed the most consistent.

What with Kirk going from judgmental to understanding from scene to scene and everyone being two-faced, it was great just to see one character who was herself in every scene. Plus, I just loved her voice.

Sue Bernard, on the other hand, was annoying. I kinda felt bad for her since her naivete got her stuck in a bad situation but really, her constant screaming and whining and crying just got grating after a while.

Being that it's a B-movie, I can forgive the flimsy plot and lapses in logic but it was still a chore to sit through the last twenty minutes. I didn't like the fact that it took so long for Varla and Rosie to just run over the old man in some lame attempt to build up tension.

I also could've done without the scene where Varla tries to run over the vegetable. They built her up to have smarts as well as the awesome body but if she was really as cunning as they made her out to be, she would've just backed up and went at him at full speed as opposed to allowing him to push her car away to keep from being run over.

The effects of the other people being hit by the car were great, though. All in all, if they had kept up the fun factor throughout the whole thing by keeping the focus on the three leads and minimizing the scenes with the others, I probably would've enjoyed this a lot more.

As it stands, I kinda wanna see it again just to see if I like it better the second time, once my expectations are gone. That and for the boobs. Seriously, all three chicks were stacked beyond belief and it totally made wading through the bullshit with the old man worth it.