Review of Fame (2009) by Ghengisjohn — 31 Jan 2016

An hour and forty seven minutes of musical hell, this "update" of FAME feels like it's been on forever long before the credits are ready to roll. It's packed from beginning to end with cringe-worthy moments, frenetic direction and unappealing characters. Worst of all it commits the cardinal sin for any entertainment product in that it's boring, exchanging any of the edginess of the original for plots recycled from so many after school teen specials. "This is who I am Mom and Dad, SO YOU BETTER BELIEVE IN ME!" So many people try to give these kids advice but ultimately the only advice they need to follow is "DON'T BE AFRAID TO SUCCEED!".

I can't shake the feeling that the kids' embarrassing, amateur-theatre rendition of Chumbawamba's "I get knocked down" (a song released 12 years prior to the release of the film) is indicative of the disconnect that seems to exist between whomever wrote this script and whatever was culturally relevant to the movie's target audience. It doesn't help that the movie is filled with these bizarre interpretations of reality: The guy who decides the way to get ahead as a producer is to take an acting audition, the squeaky-voiced teacher who performs a horrifyingly awkward, nails-on-chalkboard rendition of "You Took Advantage of me" that somehow impresses the hell out of her students or the cafeteria where the kids are allowed to run all over the tables. It also doesn't help that there's simply too many characters and no time is spent developing any of them. If you're worried that this movie is being compared to the original unfairly don't be. You can rest assured it's terrible in it's own right.