Review of F9 (2021) by Spikerock — 25 Jun 2021

I literally created this account so I could leave this review. I love the Fast franchise, I've enjoyed pretty much all of them with a couple exceptions; I've seen Fast Five like 20 times. This movie is embarrassingly bad. I give it a 1 instead of a 0 because it has Helen Mirren and Charlize Theron, for some reason. This is one of the ten worst movies I've ever seen in my life. It's supposed to be a breakneck, absurd, action adventure, but it's somehow boring. It takes itself way too seriously. None of the humor lands. The performances seem worse than normal. And the omnipotent magnets were just the icing on the cake. It's like Jesse Pinkman broke into the writers' room, stole the real script, and rewrote it with as many magnets as possible.

Complete and total waste of time, absolute garbage.