Review of Eyes Wide Shut (1999) by Chris W — 25 Feb 2014

Eyes Wide Shut (Stanley Kubrick, 2000).

[originally posted 28Jun2001].

The good news is: it's not as absolutely downright awful as everyone said it was.

The bad news is: large parts of it are.

This is one of those prime examples of a two and a half hour film that begged to be about an hour less. The first hour of the film, including the infamous "orgy" scene (which is, for the record, about as erotic as a week-old scrod), is all setup for Tom Cruise's bumbling attempt at mystery-solving in the second half. As such, the first hour is slow and could have been summarized in a sixth the time without us losing anything (Kubrick could have dropped the insanely out-of-date moralizing in the first hour as well, which would have freed us from the film's unbearable last scene, as well). Then we could have gotten focused on the last hour, where Cruise becomes obsessed with figuring out exactly who it is, and why, that wants him to stop asking questions about what he discovered in part one. This is good film, here. Take a guy who's not used to figuring out mysteries and throw him int he middle of one to see what he does. It's a time-tested plot, and it usually comes off well. It does here, too, and in the second hour of this film Cruise turns in his best screen footage since The Firm (surprise, surprise). Then we come to the last scene... and the whole thing falls apart. One would expect Kidman and Cruise to have at least SOME chemistry, them having been married and all, but the whole last scene sounds more like a first-time staged reading than a final film.

Not bad, but requires liberal use of the fast-forward button. **.