Review of Evil Bong (2006) by Adam F — 14 Mar 2014

"Evil Bong" definitely has some fun moments but as a horror comedy, it doesn't really work. There aren't any scares in the film at all and the humour is simply juvenile. The story basically follows a group of college students who acquire an evil, possessed bong that steals people's souls. When people take a hit from it they travel to an otherworldly strip club where they are killed and only nerdy college student Alistair, who does not do drugs stands a chance of saving his friends.

Our main characters are taken right out of the book of movie stereotypes: the nerd, the stoner, the jock, the cheerleader, the grown-up hippie... there isn't a single character that's original, except maybe for the titular evil bong. Because the characters are so uninspired, a lot of the jokes are very predictable. You can easily see right away that the nerd guy won't exactly be a winner with the ladies and that the stoner can't be trusted to get anything right. There is a really bad joke where Alistair McDowell (David Weidoff) introduces himself to a sexy young lady he's interested in but uh oh! He was cleaning his tighty whiteys in the sink and got soap bubbles all over his crotch without him noticing! And that is the kind of humour you can expect throughout.

The movie feels like complete amateurs made it. There are only two sets in the whole film: the strip club and the apartment. This alone wouldn't qualify for a demerit but combined with the poor acting (the strippers in the film were clearly not hired for their dramatic talents) and the awkward dialogue (upon seeing his dead friend Alistair exclaims "He's expired! Passed on!" instead of talking like a normal person), the movie has several moments that will make you cringe. If you watch carefull you can clearly see actors flub their lines or screw up a scene (by dropping an item they're holding for example), making it obvious that there weren't a lot of takes while shooting the film. One of the most obvious mistakes to anyone that grew up in the eighties will be an early scene where Brett (Brian Lloyd) is playing a video game. This isn't any ordinary video game, it's Super Mario Brothers 3, one of the most popular games released and between cuts it's obvious that the actor was playing the game between takes because in the span of a few seconds he jumps from the first level to one much farther in the game. It's amazing that no one caught this obvious mistake while the shooting was going on.

When it comes to the "horror" elements, they're sad and try really hard to be funny but don't work at all. Are we supposed to be scared when our protagonists are confronted with strippers that have carnivorous bras shaped like skulls, shark heads and lips? Probably not but those moments aren't funny if you're older than 16. Young teenagers will surely be delighted with the ample nudity, the masturbating puppet, the cheap-looking gingerbread man that hangs out in the strip club and will probably get a kick out of the cameo by Tommy Chong (recognizing him likely more for his character in "That 70's Show" than anything else) but there's really not much here for anyone else. If it doesn't sound like a story about drug paraphernalia that's out to get your soul will be your thing you should stay away. It isn't all bad but "Evil Bong" is a bad movie where not much works. (Dvd, April 20, 2013).