Review of Endless Love (1981) by Evelyn M — 12 Jul 2007

I have an Endless Love. Of taking the piss out of Tom Cruise, the little freak bastard with his ladies voice and floppy cunts fringe. If I had scientologists wanking over my every word, calling me saviour I would bloody well use that sordid power for the benefit of mankind and build a fuck off great cosmic ark, load it with pairs of blonde lesbians and bugger off into space.

While the gorgeous carpet munchers lay in stasis I would reprogram their frail minds to worship me as a god so that I could over run the entire galaxy with my army of lusty amazonian minge eaters. I would of hired Tom cruise to clean the douche bins and pay him with page scraps of L Ron Hubbards shitty novels before jettosing his midget cunts body into a black hole.