Review of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) by Super K — 15 Apr 2007

Today is Monday the 16th, and you know what that means...Friday was the 13th so bad horror movie fun was had by all. Well, everyone in my house anyway.

I have a fear of looking into mirrors in the dark. And when I was discussing this with a friend she asked if I had ever seen [b]Witchboard[/b]. I had, in the 6th grade. So I thought I would revisit the film to see if my fear stemmed from this film. I don't think it does as there are only two mirror scenes and only one of them could even be considered slightly scary. The mirror quest must continue. (If anyone knows where this fear might originate, please let me know.) Anyway, the movie revolves around a woman who begins to play the Ouija board alone and then starts acting a little weird. Also, when she's using the board, strange "accidents" occur and people die. The dialogue was so cheesy. I really should have been writing it down. But, though this is not what I could call a scary movie, it was fairly entertaining.

I don't know how I got roped into [b]Elvira, Mistress of the Dark[/b]. But it happened. And I wish it hadn't. Some of it was funny. None of it was scary. There were many jokes about Elvira's breasts. Then I fell asleep for about a half hour. I'm giving this the four because something good might have happened while I was sleeping, but I'm not going back to check.

[b]Feast[/b] turned out to be the gem of the evening. This was a Project Greenlight movie. And I'm so happy it got made. The story starts off in a bar with captions under each character letting us know who they are and how long they are expected to live. It's a clever gimmick that totally worked for me. Then there's blood. Lots and lots of blood. The monsters are gross, some of the scenes are tense. But mostly, this is just a comedic gore fest. Awesome.

With a premise like cannibalistic strippers, how could anyone resist [b]Devil's Den?[/b] It even "stars" Devon Sawa ("Extreme Dating"). (Side note: Sawa is reminding me more and more of Anthony Michael Hall. Weird.) He's a small time drug dealer wanting to test out his new batch of pills on some strippers to settle a bet with his friend. Then there's an assassin, Kelly Hu ("Succubus: Hell Bent"). And a demon hunter, Ken Foree ("Devil's Rejects"). It sounds great, right? Sadly, wrong. There's way too much talking about morals and who's good and bad and boring, boring, boring. Not that I don't want my horror movies to mean anything. I just want it to be well done. Not poorly acted and my not giving a shit about the people talking.

Another great night of tradition. And we still have some movies left over. So there's more horror to come this week! Yippee!