Review of Eagle vs Shark (2007) by Peter G — 09 Feb 2009

Not even Jemaine was able to save this film. Eagle Vs. Shark seems like a cheap cash-in from New Zealand on that recent trend of making really crappy movies in the style of Napoleon Dynamite. Everything moves so damn slow that the 1 and a half run time feels like an eternity.

While Jemaine doesn't really sound any different from Conchords, the dialog he is given is horrid. None of his jokes really make sense. The only laughs I got from this film were hearing him curse or make some dumb ass remark about diabetes.

Loren Horsley gives an okay performance. Her character is the main person in the film, but since a plot never develops I don't know what I was supposed to feel. The film gets it's title from something that happens around 15 minutes in to the film, but that subject is never really developed past the initial beginning.

The rest of the movie just happens and the audience is just supposed to accept it. At least the scenery is pleasant and most of the music is fun to listen to. The film also has a more mature tone than Napoleon (which never dealt with love).

Jemaine's character is a complete rip-off of Napoleon, though. He gives the same mannerisms in a few scenes and even runs off with his arms hanging down; What a shameless copy! The ending is extremely saccharine as well, which makes no sense seeing as how the film never had a plot.

The two characters fall in love somehow and then break-up only to come back with each (I could care less if that is a spoiler, this film sucks). Just skip this shit at all costs. Like I said before, not even Jemaine can save this.