Review of Eagle Eye (2008) by Grant K — 13 Apr 2013

'Eagle Eye' was directed by D.J. Caruso, who last teamed up with Shia LeBeouf to give us 'Disturbia', the likable rip-off of Alfred Hitchcock's 'Rear Window'. This time, the movie is a blatant and banal rip-off of three movies, two of them Alfred Hitchcock: 'North by Northwest', 'The Man Who Knew Too Much' and the most unforgivable and obvious rip-off: '2001: A Space Odyssey'.

Shia plays Jerry Shaw(he really doesn't act at all, he mostly jumps and screams and looks shocked) who gets a mysterious phone call from a woman with an incredibly soothing and somewhat creepy voice. She tells him that the FBI is going to arrest him when they find that his apartment is full of explosives and other terrorist associated material. They do. The mysterious, creepy woman calls him again and tells him how to escape. He escapes and realizes that he can't hide from the mysterious, creepy woman, because she is all seeing. She can control a crane to knock out a window, she can control a train to do whatever she wants, she can control stop lights, she can control television sets, and she always knows where Jerry is and can call him on whatever phone is near him.

Well, another important player is Rachel(Michelle Monaghan, again: jump, scream, look shocked) whose son is off to Washington D.C. to play the 'Star Spangled Banner' for the President of the United States. She has to follow the instructions of mysterious creepy woman if she wants her son to stay alive. She and Jerry help each other through the grueling events that ensue.

Okay, yeah, this is all very implausible. As bad as it already is, though, the movie ups it's retard level about 72% at the half-way point. You won't believe what the story actually is. It's a complete and total rip-off of '2001: A Space Odyssey' concerning HAL 9000, but it's done without the inventiveness or creativity. Instead, it is overtly cheesy, over-the-top, and maniacally insane. But, the movie doesn't get better. It keeps digging itself in a hole. It gets more and more over the top. It uses the same terrorist attack that is used in 'Get Smart' at the end of the film. Except, in 'Get Smart', it works because it was a comedy. This movie thinks it can use this idea in a serious, thriller setting. It's absurd.

The action sequences are particularily bad. I think the average shot length is probably 3 seconds, if that. The filmmakers think that if they fill the soundtrack with booms and swerving and slap together quick cutting shots of a car going one way . . . then another . . . that it serves as an action sequence. There's a laughable action sequence involving a fighter pilot and a tunnel, and the sequences that take place on the secret 36th floor of the Pentagon are so incredibly mundane and to be frank, stupid, that it's hard to actually grasp what the movie, apparantly, wants us to believe.

This is one of the biggest disappointments of the year. Quite to the point, it's probably one of the worst films of the year. It makes me sad. I was excited to see this movie, but alas, like with 'My Best Friend's Girl', I guess it was just wishful thinking. Sigh . . .