Review of Dumbo (2019) by Creeper3455 — 31 Mar 2019

Previews aren’t meant to be the best parts of the movie (for me anyway),but when they show new scenes of Spider-Man Far From Home (more of the Venice battle sequence) and Avengers Endgame (even the little parts are spoiler heavy),you know it’s gonna be one of those experiences… And also when I cried tears of joy at Toy Story 4's teaser trailer. Anyway….

Dumbo! The new remake by visionary director Tim Burton (Batman 1989,Edward Scissorhands and “Mars Attacks!”) and revolutionary screenwriter Ehren Kruger (who wrote some of my favorite movies,like the Transformers sequels) is finally in theaters,3D,IMAX and Dolby Cinema! See? I’m explaining everything in that paragraph,because that’s the irony of this movie (seriously,who even LIKES Transformers Age Of Extinction?!?). Here we finally have a Disney remake of a beloved cartoon that,surprise surprise,is not good! Which is a shock,considering I liked Beauty And The Beast (2017) just fine and I loved Jungle Book….

But let’s start with the positives.

The Production Design is fantastic,and (most) of the Special Effects in here are so good,they are worthy of an IMAX watch. Get the biggest screen you can,and the loudest speakers possible,as this is,first and foremost,a big Circus Showcase.

The score by Danny Elfman is overall great (for most of it…),as he brings that sense of wonder and adventure in every scene (sometimes even too much for a kids movie).

Literally,the entire Technical Aspect of the movie you can describe as wondrous.

Too bad that can’t be said for the story and screenplay itself….

As I said,the movie is written by Ehren Kruger,who also wrote Scream 3 and the Transformers sequels (except 5),and never have I seen a movie where I said in my head “Kids’ acting AT ITS FINEST!” (so bad,they appear for most of the movie. That,and the wooden as hell acting). Also holy TNTs,this is one of the worst Screenplays I’ve ever seen on screen,as it fills you to the brim with SO. MUCH. EXPOSITION.

“Hey,what are they doing?” “They’re doing something” - “Here,lemme explain a joke” - “Insert RANDOM WWE REFERENCE here”.

This is just a taste.

It’s kinda sad in a way,because Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito are selling their lines like they’re having fun (as well as Eva Green and her French accent) on set. Also,for what it’s worth,the runtime is too long. This movie goes at 1h50’,and unlike Ralph Breaks The Internet (where it was justified why),in here,it makes the entire spectacle super tiring.

Also,maybe it’s just me,but the new Dumbo looked terrifying. In the posters,it looked great,but in the movie...Get ready for some nightmares...

Again,very stressful,considering the last Disney remakes I’ve seen had so much effort in it,besides being money-making machines for the company (and one of the few justifications for Disney being better than Universal,which I will stand,by the way. That studio is,and will always be,atrocious).

Dumbo (2019) will definitely make you believe an Elephant can fly (more so in IMAX),but it’ll also make you believe that Disney has lost faith in these Live-Action remakes. Just...don’t ruin The Lion King. Please?

P.S.