Review of Drive (1997) by Alan P — 28 Jul 2007

Many students currently attending the drinkathon known as university are likely to encounter a range of experiences beyond the comprehension of other mere mortals. One such treasured delight and a staple diet for many of the tax dodging great unwashed is the post-pub movie; a style of film that should, as the title dictates, only be watched after an evening down the pub in order to protect your fragile mind from haemorrhaging and your eyeballs from perforating. In many ways to understand the genius of such films five pints of Artwats (minimum) and a sordid kebab of nastiness (or similar grotty sustenance) are essential requirements prior to watching, as the magical powers instilled in beer have a pleasant habit of turning a turd of a script, acting from the school of gibbons and visual effects courtesy of Blue Peter into a bona-fied masterpiece. Why else do you think Van Damme and Segal are still allowed anywhere near a film set to plague humanity with there craptastic action adventures? The post-pub student movie fraternity demand it, with beer giving a dog an evens chance of turning into a fox. Drive is one such ex-students post-pub delicacy?

Toby Wong (the legendary Mark Dacascos) hitches a ride to America from Hong Kong pursued by all manner of hard looking heavies, including comedy bounty hunter?s Vic Madison (John-Pyper Ferguson) and Hedgehog (Tracey Walter), attempting to stop him from delivering a package to the CIA ? himself. You see, Toby?s a Chinese assassin fitted with a bio-engine (cheesy plot dynamic #276) that turns him into a nifty martial arts arse-kicking machine, and after being shafted by the Chinese biotech organisation that fitted the device decides that selling his ?trade secret? to the CIA for five million dollars is a worthwhile investment. Along the way Toby kidnaps down on his luck barfly Malik Brody (Kardeem Hardison) who has the wheels to get him to the specified meeting place and, despite his initial resistance, the two team up to fight back against the assorted goons hot on their heels! What follows is one inexplicable chase across America featuring a shedload of cracking punch-ups, a fair few chuckles, one stupidly large explosion and a completely unexpected, yet inspired, bat-shit crazy turn from Brittany Murphy.

Okay, I?m pretty sure I can determine what you?re all thinking. Sounds like a big bag of nonsense, right? Well, you wouldn?t be wrong. Drive?s daft plot is merely there to get the action from A to B and to contrive some otherwise ridiculously far-fetched action set pieces. But that doesn?t mean Drive is a poor film by any stretch of the imagination. Indeed, imagination is key and it?s this that sets Drive apart from similar stupidly plotted post-pub action fests. In fact there is so much good stuff in Drive it easily rises above and defies its otherwise shallow Van-Damme-esque genre conventions, much like Ong-Bak and Hard Boiled (the greatest action film ever made) that you can almost watch the film sober without becoming mentally scarred from the inanity! Well, almost?

In many ways it could be said that Drive is the film the recently released Jason Statham actioner Crank was attempting to emulate. Drive is certainly as stupid plot-wise with Dacascos charging around kicking lots of bad guy arse, but whereas Crank faltered due to some bland and uninspired action sequences, Drive, as the title suggests, turns it up to eleven, adds a dollop of imagination and goes into spectacular overdrive. The bio-engine macguffin is savvy enough to turn Toby into a lethal martial arts machine, yet complemented by the wonderful kung-fu craft of Dacascos (who really does deserve some form of super-stardom), outstanding choreography and some quality wire (pre-dating its use in The Matrix by a couple of years) and stunt work from all involved, creates some of the most fluid and bone-crunching fight sequences ever seen in a western styled martial arts movie. The opening fight sequence on the boat Toby has stowed away upon may be short, yet its speed, pace and quality has enough impact to convince the viewer to stick around. The hotel fracas, featuring a brilliantly choreographed segment where Toby fends off bad guys equipped with electro-batons by tying his boots to his hands, is more than inspired (if completely daft). And the final battle between Toby and a more evil biotech creation at the space-themed restaurant rendezvous (don?t ask) is just as creative as any stand-off between Neo and Agent Smith. One thing is for certain, Drive has much more drive than Crank had crank.

The inspired action sequences, however, are not the only quality aspect of Drive. Like Jason Statham?s likeable anti-heroes, Dacascos is equally charismatic and charming as the much-maligned Toby. With a likable focal point at the centre of the action, it?s just far too damn difficult not to enjoy Drive. Even when a segment of back-story creeps in allowing for some faux emotional content, Dacascos handles such scenes with suitable ease often beyond your atypical post-pub action hero. Just why he?s never gone onto bigger and better things (although he was superb in Brotherhood of the Wolf) is quite beyond reason. Equally affable is Kadeem Hardison?s sidekick and whilst the relationship between the two is hardly believable it does make for some decent buddy-buddy goofiness ? especially when the two are handcuffed together whilst on the run. When you add some comedy baddies in Madison - who has the single best cuss in the film with 'well if it isn?t my favourite cheese-eating dickmonkey' - and Hedgehog who perpetually receive a sound kicking throughout, Brittany Murphy?s random appearance as hotel clerk Deliverance and the best chainsaw mutilation since Evil Dead 2 (seriously, it?s that brilliant) it makes Drive a particularly special action fest for the action junkie.

Indeed, Drive is enhanced by a script that simply screams ?fun? and ?enjoyment?, and luckily this ethos is present for all to bear. It is one hell of an enjoyable ride. Even the fact the film doesn?t really end and is left open for a potential sequel (that sadly never arrived) fails to spoil things. Drive won?t be for everyone though. Those that are unable to appreciate stupid high-concept movies will do best to avoid, as the absurdity of it all, particularly when Murphy shows up, may cause your brain to implode. But for students, action junkies and those who prefer their style over substance, you could go through the whole back catalogue of Van Damme and Segal and not come close to finding a movie that is of equal to Drive! Best post-pub movie ever? Maybe?

Overall - Leave your brain at the door and enjoy. Add another star if you?re planning to watch Drive after drinking shedloads of alcohol - seriously, it's even better through beer goggles!

Alan Passingham/clownfoot, May 2007.