Review of Dracula 3000 (2004) by Frisby 2 — 31 Jul 2010

Starring Casper Van Dien and Coolio, who plays a vampire, set in space!! If that sentence didn't tickle your fancy, then this movie is most assuredly not for you. However, for all you purveyors of B-movie ridiculousness, this a lot of fun. Writer/ director Darrell Roodt makes the most out of a clearly limited budget, and while the sets are nothing new, mixing the industrial type ships, a la Aliens, with the more decadent type from something like Event Horizon, it's works, and it never tries extending itself beyond it's means.

The script has some odd moments to it, as in the beginning, when the intern-navigator (who works for free) is exploring the ship the distress call came from (of course, right?) and Tommy Lister's Humvee starts messing with her. It's awkward, and doesn't work, thankfully though, bits like this are quite infrequent. Most of the time, the script, and well everything else, embraces it's own cheesy, and we get great lines, as with Coolio's 187, a vampire, "I want to watch my anaconda spit all over your snow white ass". It's silly and ridiculous, but the movie never takes itself seriously.

So there's 187, and then there's Count Orlock, and as played by Langley Kirkwood, one part Anne Rice vampire, one part sociopath, one part alien, and all sorts of insane. This are the only two vampires here, but they're enough. Also, quite amusing is "Transylvania" here is another galaxy, but no word on whether or not it's in the vicinity of the "Transsexual" quadrant. Anyways, so once they are unleashed, the movie is just our heroes being hunted, and rather savagely mocked by Coolio, and sure, it's cliched and by the numbers, but it's done well and lots of fun.

Acting wise, Dien as Capt. Abraham Helsing is the best, with Coolio's over-the-top antics not far behind. Lister is good in his role, but it doesn't require a lot- be big, look menacing, die- which he's very suited for. Grant Swanby as the nerdy professor that knows the lore of vampires is probably the most in on the joke, and a lot of fun, but in his more emotive scenes, he's only OK. As for the two females, they are decent but nothing more than that. Alexandra Kamp as the already mentioned intern has a small presence but gets lost in the commotion. Erika Eleniak as Aurora Ash handles the action well, but her comedic timing is way off, and she has a fair share of silly moments.

Roodt keeps things moving at an even pace, and uses some excellent lighting to mask some of the budget restraints. The cinematography is decent, and I can't award too many style points, but it's competent and gets the job done.

A fun movie, that despite it's limited appeal and goofy nature, will charm and impress B-movie lovers.