Review of Dracula 3000 (2004) by Tammy G — 11 Jun 2007

Between Orlock constantly sprinting everywhere he goes, Coolio dancing around with vampire teeth, someone with an accent and glasses who's called "The Professor," big, dumb black muscle, a handsome white captain, and a (not really, at all) sexy first mate, this movie has everything.

I think there's only about 10 different people in the cast, and a couple of them are vampires that suddenly appear completely out of nowhere, attack, and then are killed. There is some really great awful writing as well -- Coolio has several lines that made me laugh out loud -- and whatever warehouse they filmed this in looks no more like a spaceship than an office building does.

I won't spoil the ending, which is impossible to see coming, but it's the perfect end to a perfectly bad movie.