Review of Doomsday (2008) by Matt V — 18 Jun 2009

Doomsday, starring Kate Beckingsale.....no wait, it's Rhona Mitra doing her best impression of Kate Beckingsale..... is the latest offering from that guy who made the incredibly good Dog Soldiers and The Descent. I just watched it and I'm thinking, this could be the Citizen Kane of our times.

I jest. But fuck me if I wasn't laughing at how shit this was...in a way that it was actually pretty good, in a really bad way, if that makes sense.

It starts by ripping off 28 Days Later, then turns into Resident Evil. After that it becomes Escape From New York, with Rhona even sporting an eye patch. Cool.

Then the bad guy does the can-can to his army of people, (and at this point the film has become Waterworld). Once Rhona and her chums leg it from these guys, Malcolm McDowell turns up and lives in a castle, from which point the film turns into Robin Hood, (complete with a Guy of Gisborne cast-off). Not bad, considering the film is set in 2035. Then at the climax it turns unsubtly into Mad Max, with a car chase to the song 'Two Tribes' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I shit you not.

If that wasn't enough, Bob Hoskins is in the film for absolutely no reason at all, the Priminister of England is played by an actor from the Sudan, Sean Pertwee gets cooked, carved and eaten at a banquet, and - and this really is the best part about the movie, (any movie for that fact) - Rhona Mitra's character can take her eye out, use it as a camera, record the footage onto her wristwatch, and then save the file onto a 20p coin!

I never swear. But for fuck sake, if this film doesn't win an Oscar, life just isn't worth living.