Review of Don't Worry Darling (2022) by Mauraer — 25 Sep 2022

It's a neck-and-neck race between this and 'Bodies, Bodies, Bodies' for worst picture, though 'Pearl', 'Orphan 2' and 'Nope' are strong contenders as well. This is honestly as good a race for Worst Picture as the race was in 1995 for Best Picture (at the Oscars). Truly a remarkably abysmal year for film thus far, but there's still time for redemption. Movies this year like 'Mad God' give me faith.

I mean, where to even begin with 'Darling'? I guess I'll start by saying it's probably the slowest-paced, most boring script I've seen come to life (if you can call it that) on screen. Some are calling this a "slow-burn", yet something has to be burning for that to be the case. This is just staring at an unlit candle in the hot baking sun, waiting for something to happen as you grow less and less patient.

'Darling' is 2 hours of nothingness. Nothing happens during the entirety of this movie, and the "twist" ending is so lazy and uninspired that I wish the movie just cut to black mid-way through without even the credits to follow. Pugh is literally just her character from 'Midsommar', as in she just sobs and is in hysterics throughout the whole movie. Harry Styles plays... Harry Styles.

This movie has a $30 million budget, yet it basically takes place in a single house in a desert? Where did the money go? If this movie didn't have the names it has attached to it, not a single person would ever mention it (let alone praise it). But because of the "star power" and added drama to the press, it's getting ALL the attention. Far more worrisome, is that this movie will probably make a profit!

Don't let the star power fool you, 'Don't Worry Darling' is worse than what you would find after scrolling for hours through the abyss that is the Netflix or Hulu Horror sections.

Hard-earned 1/10.