Review of Don't Touch the White Woman! (1974) by Jerome W — 03 Sep 2006

[size=3]I was out of commission movie-wise for a few days because my TV set finally went out on me. It served me well for 16 years so I can't complain. I got a 15" flat screen set from Wal-Mart. It was a challenge to hook up but I finally got it done although it looks like the VCR side of the DVD player will not be working.[/size].

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[size=3]I've seen a plethora of movies and other stuff. I saw Val Lewton's long lost movie, "The Ghost Ship". It was more a thriller than a horror movie but it was still very good with a really creepy performance by Richard Dix as a mad sea captain. "Julie Johnson" was a nice film about a North Jersey housewife who discovers she has a great aptitude for mathematics and starts out a new life because of it, even to the point of leaving her husband and beginning an affair with her best friend. Courtney Love was the best friend and she showed she's a believable actress and hot to boot, when she can stay clean and sober.[/size].

[size=3] I saw the Wallace And Gromit feature and it was just as wonderful as I thought it would be. I loved the little side jokes that only a British audience would get, like the quick appearance of the Art Garfunkel single "Bright Eyes", a big hit in England that came from the film "Watership Down".[/size].

[size=3] There were two really weird films I saw. One was "Don't Touch The White Woman", a 1974 French-Italian satire that played out the short western career of George Custer up to the Little Big Horn in modern day France, with all the actors in authentic calvary gear. There were enough references to President Nixon to make it clear this was a spoof on Vietnam, but where else could you see Marcello Mastroianni playing Custer and Ugo Tonazzi playing his Indian scout?[/size].

[size=3] The other bit of weirdness was "The Fat Spy", some bizarre combination of beach party movie and spy spoof that starred Jack E. Leonard, an insult comic who predated Don Rickles, in dual roles along with Phylllis Diller, Brian Donlevy and surely the only reason this movie made it to DVD, Jayne Mansfield. The movie made no bloody sense and worse, wasn't even funny.[/size].

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