Review of Donkey Punch (2008) by Andrew C — 23 Aug 2009

If you're after narrative flow, this is not your movie. Nothing seems to make any sense at all after the Donkey is Punched.

The entire cast is vacuous, smarmy and unlikeable, so it's almost some sort of relief when they start killing each other. However, despite this (and an overlong sex scene that verges on the dull, given its predictable outcome), there's absolutely no logic to the proceedings. People get locked in rooms, escape, then wander the boat unchallenged; people run away in a lifeboat for two minutes. Usually in this sort of movie, the gory deaths of the terminally stupid are the reason to keep watching. In Donkey Punch, they don't get killed quickly or often enough.

The bloke getting killed with a flare, though, is bloody choice.