Review of Dolemite (1975) by Erik S — 18 Jan 2010

This awesome movie stars Rudy Ray Moore, D'Urville Martin, and a boom mike in the classic tale of quite possibly one of the Baddest Bad-asses ever to grace the screen. Rudy Ray Moore is Dolemite, and vice-versa: a cool gut-rippin' pimp with an army of fine female kung-fu killers and a distinct hatred for people that eat rat soup. Dolemite was framed by some bad cops, and released from prison to take down Willie Green, whom some folk say is the Baddest mother the world has EVER seen.

Well, he's not, cause the movie is named after Dolemite.

Dolemite has to get back his club from the notorious Green, dodge two crooked cops with a penchant for coke and having red pockets on blue jeans, randomly kick or shoot "bad guys" to death, rap in the early '70s style, and try to get laid as often as possible - all in a span of 90 minutes. And he does it too! You know why?

"Cause he's Bad! Mmm-hmm. The man is out of sight!".

Dolemite kicks ass with ease. And by that, I mean he can send someone flying into the trunk of a car with barely a leg lift. When two bored lookin' thugs break into Hamburger Pimp's hole-in-the-wall, Dolemite karate chops their offense into blunders before turning their own guns against them, all the while barely more than a little annoyed at the intrusion. Dolemite is so awesome that the air from his punches can cause mouths to bleed.

And he's got, quite possibly, the sweetest living room known to man. Red shag carpet. Blue velvet couch. A bar permanently crowded with naked, or nearly-naked, women and mirrors everywhere.

Willie Green, however, isn't much of a villain for Dolemite. In fact, he doesn't have near enough screen time as the boom mike, who starts off its film career with a few peep-ins before finally becoming a part of the scene when Dolemite and Queen Bee are evaluating his karate killers. Willie is there to be evil alongside the diminutive mayor, played by Mario of video game fame, and spends most of his time being screechy and shirtless until Dolemite shows him just how Bad he can be.

And how Bad is Dolemite?

Dolemite can get shot in the heart, and move the wound to his lower arm.

Now that is Bad.

"Oh Dolemite I'm so happy.".