Review of Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010) by Chads. — 20 Mar 2010

Two boys in a crowded cafeteria, amidst a galaxy of cliques, the slightly cooler kid surveys the lunchroom, then glances back at his pal with new eyes. "Try to look like you're having fun," begs Kevin Arnold(Fred Savage) to his nerdy seatmate Paul(Paul Sorvino), because he knows that his middle school social life depends on it.

Winnie Cooper was taking algebra in 1967, now she has her own math theorem. In 2010, the cafeteria is even more ofl a battlefield, and Greg Heffley(Zachary Gordon) would like a little help from his best friend Rowley(Robert Capron) in manufacturing wonder years out of their journey through intermediate school.

Unfortunately, Rowley lacks the guile to conform with the herd; he believes that you should "come as you are", so the accidental iconoclast comes to school on a girl's bike with pink tassels in full-blown Guatamalan regalia.

But nobody kicks his ass because "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" is no dollhouse: the improbable junior high has no mean girls to ostracize this rotund misfit. Greg, always hatching new plans to rule the school, would have left Rowley in the dust had he any athletic talent or marketable attribute to impress the adolescent jetset.

When the two boys "play"(Rowley-speak for "hang out"), Greg is always the quartrback. It's made clear that he assizes the protocol in their day-to-day affiliation together, where he's the leader and his protege is the follower.

Through a chance occurence, however, Rowley becomes popular, on his own terms, in which it's cool to dance with your mom at a school function, and a dorky punchline for a comic strip becomes an infectious catch-phrase in the hallways.

"Diary of a Wimpy Kid" is harmless, innocuous fun, perfect for its demographic, but it does give tweeners the wrong impression about the societal actualities of teenaged girls and boys. If you show up to class in a "serape", having the "cheese touch" will be the least of your problems.

They'll call you "Wiener Dog" for the rest of your middle school life, but you just might grow up to be Marilyn Manson.