Review of Diana (2013) by Peter C — 22 Sep 2013

A ten litre tub of white emulsion from Wickes costs twenty quid. A small tub of popcorn, a fizzy drink and a cinema ticket costs somewhere in the region of fifteen. If you want to watch paint dry and save money, choose the latter. If you want to engage your other senses, get high and hallucinatory by sniffing the former.

Reviewers have been rightfully critical about this vehicular malfunction of a film - plotting and pace is pedestrian, tension does not mount, drama does not heighten, subtext is lacking, and a spade is most definitely a spade - yet strangely non-committal or overly kind about Naomi Watts.

I know you can only play the hand you're dealt. Which in this case is saccharine and one-dimensional. For example, "Now that I've been loved, I don't feel lonely anymore." And, "When I go to hospitals, I get excited. I feel I can make a contribution." But she is either woefully miscast or quite simply having a bad day at the palace. Lacking the necessary sparkle, mischief and vulnerability.

Mind you, she's not helped by the fact that the cinematography comprises largely of extreme close-ups and tepid two-shots. Where are the other characters, the other forces at play, the noises off, the dark agents, the agonists vital to make a drama out of an otherwise dull duologue?

Unfortunately, the award for best performance by an actor in a supporting role goes to Tony Blair for his portrayal of conviction politician in the 1997 General Election.

About halfway through the film, Dr Hasnat Khan, renowned heart surgeon and love interest of Princess Diana, played impeccably by actor Naveen Andrews, tells her that some operations can last anything up to eight or nine hours. After which he feels drained.

"You reach a place inside yourself when time has no real meaning," he says. "And when it's over, reality is flat and you feel a bit tired.".

And so say all of us. Or should I say we (as in the royal we).

2/5.