Review of Despicable Me 3 (2017) by Matt C — 18 Dec 2017

You know, when Illumination Entertainment came on the scene seven (!) years ago with the first Despicable Me, they were a breath of fresh air in some ways. Their European humor and old-fashioned slapstick combined with engaging yet accessible characters arcs made for an enjoyable and even rewatchable experience, and I was definitely a fan of it.

Their follow-ups ranged from lackluster to awful, though, and the only other movie of theirs that I've enjoyed was Despicable Me 2. Despicable Me 3, however, follows the studios reliance of slapdash material and poor storytelling with no sense of care placed into the concept or execution.

It's cynical, disjointed, soulless, and works against its own interests, feeling like a bunch of B stories from different 22-minute television episodes stretched to a withering 90 minutes. An unspecified amount of time after the second installment, this one finds Gru (Steve Carell) and Lucy (Kristen Wiig)-still living together with their adopted daughters Agnus (Nev Scharrel), Edith (Dana Gaier), and Margo (Miranda Cosgrove).

They learn from a random man that Gru has a long-lost twin brother named Dru (also Carell), a yang to his yin in a way, and they have to team up to defeat Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker), a washed-up former child star from the '80s.

Then there are some peripheral stories involving Agnus trying to find a real unicorn, Margo accidentally courting a foreign boy who won't leave her alone, Lucy trying to be a better and more influential mother, and the minions going on strike and running away.

None of it really ties together and it feels very inconsequential, almost like a bunch of gags masquerading as actual storylines. The shticks play out just as you would expect, with Bratt's '80s references relying on music choices like "Bad", "Take on Me", "Money for Nothing", and "Jump" amongst others.

The subplots are slight and their outcomes aren't really containing much gravity as a result, but the beats are as easy to telegraph as the four-chord progression of Bratt's favorite hit songs from decades past.

In fact, the film's antagonist feels like a strong encapsulation of the franchise and Illumination Entertainment as a whole: obsessed with an antiquated shtick; convincing of its inability to disappoint; and frustratingly unwilling to evolve because of this.

A byproduct of its failure as a movie is that it doesn't inspire much of any discussion or emotion afterwards, which is the cardinal sin of a movie, especially when previous iterations of its characters and plots have demonstrated its content's malleability.

This just feels stiff. You can point to the colorful animation as a mild redeeming quality of the movie as a whole, and indeed it is-you can't deny the likability of the designs and colors, which are simultaneously crisp and softened in their designs.

I chuckled two or three times, but that's the amount of amusement that should more be elicited from a short film than a feature, and this particular feature happens to feel much longer than its 90-minute runtime.

In fact, it's only 83 minutes excluding credits, and while most films would use that to their advantage, the advantage here was in my being able to just barely catch the bus to my apartment without having to wait around.

Then I could hear wailing noises that took place in real life! 3.7/10, really bad, D+, far below average, etc.