Review of Demolition Man (1993) by Peter D — 16 Apr 2015
Some critic used the word "pastiche" in his review of this movie.
Buddy, if you use words like "pastiche" in your reviews, I don't think Demolition Man is the movie for you. I'll just tell you that right now.
Demolition Man is the kind of action movie that doesn't get made anymore. By that I mean it's a movie with great action, dumb-as-hell one-liners, and standard action movie things like a pointlessly topless lady and an appearance by Jesse Ventura. And it's a dumb action movie that wasn't TRYING to be a dumb action movie.
People will often tell me that I need to see shit like Machete. Guys, Machete sucks. That movie can't stop wanking itself long enough to make MACHETE DO SOME STUFF! All I wanted was for Machete to do some stuff, and all I got was weird plot and Lindsay Lohan's boob-stunt-double.
If you're not sure whether you should see this movie, good news, I've put together a little quiz. Answer Yes or No.
1. Do you like the idea that the main characters are named "John Spartan" and "Simon Phoenix"?
2. Do you celebrate just a little inside when a movie has a ridiculous title and characters in the movie say that title aloud MORE THAN THREE TIMES?
3. Are you a person able to relish lines like "You're gonna regret that for the rest of your life...both seconds of it"?
If you answered Yes to those questions, then watch this movie. If you loved Tango & Cash, then watch this movie. If you didn't, then don't be surprised if you hate it. And go pastiche yourself.
This review of Demolition Man (1993) was written by Peter D on 16 Apr 2015.
Demolition Man has generally received positive reviews.
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