Review of Deadpool 2 (2018) by Clark M — 21 Jun 2018

Noon had just passed and I was near the theater. Why not go see a movie? It'll be free, and fun.

Okay. It won't exactly be free because I drove my incredibly cool (and old) truck to get here, and gas isn't free. And that toll booth charges me seventy-five cents each time I go through it. And my truck doesn't keep itself full of oil (it leaks a lot) and anti-freeze (it also leaks). Someone has to refill the reservoirs every few days. Me. Good old birthday coming soon me.

But the movie was free, sorta. I signed up for Movie Pass, and it costs me $9.95 per month. But I can watch as many movies as I want with this pass. At any theater that accepts it (which is most, probably). I just swipe my card and they give me a ticket. The ticket even says that they charged my credit card (it looks just like one, with my name on it and all) $8.15. Cool.

I arrived early and I was hungry, so I ordered some Deluxe Nachos. Medium. And water. I wanted a beer, but it was the afternoon and I didn't want to start drinking this early, or deal with the effects, or consequences, etc.

Jonathan brought me my food and it was delicious. I hate olives, so I asked him to leave them off. But the jalapeno peppers were amazing. And lettuce. And tomatoes. And cheese. D. Lish. Us.

Just as the previews started rolling, I was done with my lunch. There was still food on the plate, but my tummy was no longer talking to me, and my taste buds had enough sensory opportunities. I felt okay about leaving some of the food behind. The Cinema Café made $11.47 during my visit, so I don't feel bad about watching a movie for free.

I sat in the fifth row (out of five or six), next to the wall. About two-thirds of the seats in this auditorium were empty, including the two to my right. I never looked at the girl who sat three seats over, but I heard her laughing. A lot. And once she said to her date, "I don't know why you're not laughing." I was laughing, but I wasn't her date. I wouldn't have minded, but, er, no such luck. Still, I wondered why he wasn't laughing aloud. Moron.

Ryan Reynolds is hilarious as the superhero Deadpool, or supervillain, or X-men (in training). He makes jokes about himself, about other people, and about the viewers who are watching the film. By the way, he was also one of its writers, so the humor comes naturally to him. For example, he mocks the movie "Green Lantern," joking that it shouldn't have been created, even though it was he who starred in it. Funny! He talks about the Oscar watchers as he says weird stuff related to other movies, slowly dying, fading away...and then not dying yet. Funny stuff, mocking his and other dying scenes, joking on himself and his need to be recognized for his acting artistry. Humor outside of the storyline. Ha!

Zazie Beetz as Domino is very cute. And she is so darn lucky. That's her mutant power. Luck. Probably a dozen times, when she is sure to have something bad happen, it doesn't. Instead, something completely unpredictable happens to allow her to escape sure destruction, and death. And she's cute.

And then there is Juggernaut. Big. Powerful. Easily swayed to do the bidding of a kid who gives him extra food. Remember the part of the movie where Deadpool tells the kid to find one person and make him your friend. Well, the kid does that, and wahlah, the storyline works...if you suspend reality and pretend that all this mutant stuff is real, and forget about asking how they got back to the orphanage to wreak havoc and vengeance on the abusers who worked there. Just pretend.

Now, a few critical comments here. Lotsa cursing. If you don't like the F-bomb, then tough, though it's funny when Deadpool gets Colossus to say it at the end. Lotsa weird pedophile jokes and insinuations, and stereotypes of males who work with boys, and anal sex (reflect on Juggernaut's ending, literally his end, the shocking butt-scene), and penis jokes (think of what you first thought when the old blind lady was asked to rub his sore legs and she got disgusted. Yep, adult humor, and very inappropriate for kids, but okay (apparently) for adults when coming from the mouth of a mutant like Deadpool.

Watch the movie. And don't leave when the credits start. Of course. You know that. There is always more in a Marvel movie. Extra stuff. And hints at another movie, and its main character. Yay!

Look. Deadpool 2 is hilarious, and rude, insensitive, disgusting and ahhhhhh! But, I laughed a lot, and I bet that you will too. Maybe. If you're weird and like the crazy antics that made the first movie, Deadpool, require a sequel. Oh, a sequel? Will there be a third in this franchise? Maybe. Hey, did you know that the makers of this movie, 21st Century Fox, is now owned by Disney? Yep! Disney, of you know, princesses and cute animation and happy endings (not like you saw in the preview of the comedy Muppet-like movie office scene, OMG, disgusting and funny). So, is there a market for a third, or will the Deadpool character find himself in other Marvel movies, in a supporting role, or just there for the giggles? I wonder. Will X-Force re-emerge, with Domino (very cute), and Cable (very strong), and Deadpool (very funny)? And that stupid weasel of a cab-driver? Time will tell (that's a joke, by me, because now Deadpool has a timetravel device that Negasonic Teenage Warhead, the first openly LGBTQ marvel character depicted in a film, fixed for him.

Question: Is there any irony to the scene where Juggernaut became dead in a pool? Deadpool?