Review of Days of Thunder (1990) by Tammy M — 27 Apr 2009

I'd love to give Days Of Thunder a proper, analytical review, but I just can't. It's one of those films that glides by in front of you, not stirring any kind of emotions as it goes. Slow, miserably boring and awkwardly po-faced, it's a silly vehicle for Tom Cruise and, er, vehicles.

I never really knew what was going on - besides racing and crashing, the only bits of the film with any level of enthusiasm - or who was who. Cruise's character rides into shot on a motorbike, through a smoke effect. Why not stick it in slow motion, too? Irritable and irritating, he's racing for Robert Duvall, for some reason, and he stinks at it, crashing constantly and not winning a race for ages. Only, this apparently means he's really good at it. Oh, right.

Race after race goes by, with feeble obstacles coming and going. (Michael Rooker's evil racer becomes Cruise's friend and leaves, only to be replaced by Cary Elwes as a different evil racer.) There is a romance with Nicole Kidman, but the dialogue's so stilted that it's embarrassing. The music, firmly rooted in '80s synths, is constantly appalling. When Cruise wins the race at the end - don't seriously tell me you weren't expecting him to - I didn't feel like he'd really achieved or overcome anything. With dozens of races shown briefly throughout the film, there's no overall momentum.

And of course, NASCAR racing doesn't translate well to the screen. What tension and drama can get out of Cruise asking how many laps are left, and Duvall replying "23"? Round and round they go, for ages. It's intolerably boring, even with Tony Scott shaking the camera and focussing on the whizzing car sounds.

Cruise is too much of a vaguely unlikeable jerk to cheer for, and the plot is too thin - as is the "action" too light - to hold my attention. Top Gun With Cars, then. Except they don't shoot at each other. And nobody dies. And it's less unintentionally funny, and not worth watching at all. There's still a sliver of homo-erotic smouldering between Cruise and Rooker, though, which ought to prompt a few giggles. Otherwise, vacuous rubbish.