Review of Daughters of Satan (1972) by Kendra J — 10 Dec 2009

This suspense thriller from 1972 is anything but suspenseful or thrilling. Tom Selleck (who I swear must have come out of the womb already mustachioed, hairy-chested and over six feet tall) is an art buyer for a museum living in the Philippines who finds a painting of witches being burned at the stake that he oddly takes a liking to when he notices the resemblance between his wife and one of the witches. He brings the painting home and it puts in motion some weird prophecy where his wife is destined to be one of the daughters of Satan.

Ho hum.

This is supposed to be a suspense thriller, but the thrills are anything but. Probably the most exciting moment of the movie is when Tom Selleck is being chased by a skinny knife-wielding Phillippino man who Tom Selleck attempts to thwart by tossing barrels at him. I think that does have the makings of a great 8-bit video game. Help the skinny knife-wielding Phillippino man dodge the flying barrels! Get to level 10 and you get to stab Tom Selleck for the win! That would be an awesome game.

Anyway, this movie is deadly dull and boring and I had a difficult time not falling asleep during it. It's one of those movies where you wonder how it got past the development stages, never mind how it went into production. Props to Tom Selleck though, for making a clunker like this but still managing to have a successful career afterward.