Review of Darkness (2005) by Nathan W — 11 Oct 2009

[indent][b]IMDB Says :[/b].

[/indent] [indent][i][b]Tagline[/b]: Some secrets should never come to light.

[b]Plot Outline[/b]: A teenage girl moves into a remote countryside house with her family, only to discover that their gloomy new home has a horrifying past that threatens to destroy the family.[/i].

[/indent].

I Say :

Some movies should never be released... Ok ok it's not that bad but it's not good either. The plotline is thin to say the least and is more predictable than a George Bush speech. The only reason I kept watching was that I needed to know how it ended, I needed to know how they were going to work around making a European movie with an American ending. It's filmed in Spain, most of the crew is European. Yet everyone in Spain speaks a better than respectable English, even the driver in the traffic jam scene. Calls out for help in English... Right there is where you lose me. A movie set in Spain and it's understood that everyone should be speaking Spanish but for the purpose of avoiding annoying unneeded sub-titles everyone is speaking English, but when Americans are in Spain, I think it's weak to have the Spanish speaking a clear English with only a little accent. And when the Italian actor playing a Spanish man, keeps his Italian accent, it's annoying (perhaps it's because I'm surrounded by Italians in my daily life).

So... with a kick-ass poster and despite her ugly teeth, an ubercute Anna Paquin and a plot that desperately needed a William Friedkin or Joss Whedon to helm the project, this movie disapoints on almost all points.

[b]The plot is so simple I'll just copy paste from IMDB.[/b].

[indent][i]There's something in this house... Something ancient and dark that remains still, hidden and silent. It can only wait, having been concealed in the shadows for years. In fact, its milieu is darkness. Only in it can it show itself and move. It even takes its name: DARKNESS. It's lived here since someone tried to call it, more than forty years ago. Because this house hides a secret, a terrible past, an inconceivably evil act... Seven children, faceless people, a circle that must be completed. And blood, lots of blood...[/i].

[/indent].

Alright so Regina (played by Anna Paquin) moves in with her family in a quaint but badly-in-need of work home in the Spanish country side. It's only been three weeks and she's already got a steady boyfriend (She works fast) and is on the swim team. The movie takes a long time to get going from there. So long that within 30 minutes I wanted to pull the DVD out of the player but then when Daddy starts talking about larva whispering to him from within the walls, it starts getting Lovecraftian, but only subtly. There's a hidden room (Cliché 1), pencils that roll away (Cliché 2) there's a bath scene (although nothing of "interest" is shown, Cliché 3). Parents so disconnected, the protagonist starts feeling isolated (Cliché 4) there's a creepy old man who guides our protagonist along the way (Cliché 5) and it goes on. Oddly enough no gratuitous sex scenes just for the sake of stuffing a sex scene in a horror movie... so that was a surprise. So the house has ghosts of children, of course you know BAD THINGS have happened in this house, from there bloodbathality ensues. The ending is a total SILENT HILL rip-off but very well executed in my oh so humble opinion. Had she been wearing a vest with a flashlight in the breast pocket I would have screamed bloody murder.

The characters (and I mean ALL OF THEM) are completely flat and discourage you from having any feelings towards them. The acting is incredibly BAD, despite having an Oscar winner on board which makes the movie even more boring. The relationships have zero substance.

The score is superbly TYPICAL and uninvolving. And is out of place in the final scenes, making the end seem very disjointed.

When a horror movie is named Darkness, you better have great lighting and composition and that it does, it's crisp and contrasted and that's about the only part I enjoyed of the movie.

This movie could have gone in so many different directions only had horror geniuses been at the helm, because the effects were very good, as was the concept but was so badly executed that it gets a shadowy 4 outta 10.