Review of Dark Skies (2013) by Vuk S — 09 Oct 2013

In the sea of turds in the bowl that was Sky Box Office, we chose Dark Skies. As you might expect, that was a very bad decision, we should've known considering it was made by the Paranormal Activity team.

As you might expect, I try to review the audience's perspective as opposed to a critical perspective to allow for more reliable reviews so I can easily say that this movie insults the intelligence of everyone.

The dialogue is impossibly unnatural which makes it somewhat cringey, there are no actual scares in the movie (Then again, I did nearly fall asleep during Cabin in the Woods and that did scare a few people).

The script is just awful and I mean awful. The characters act very unnaturally, for example a character who is supposed to be the best friend of the older brother in the family that the movie follows acts like a complete arsehole to him. He casually watches porn when everyone is around, even guests and at one point, he shoots his friend with a BB gun while asking whether he touched his sister's boob.

That wasn't made up and those aren't spoilers in case you ask, there is barely much of a story in the first place. There is a lot of pointless crap which makes the short run time feel like an eternity.

The "plot twist" also makes no sense either. They don't make it obvious, that's fine. But when they spend what feels like a long time developing the villains to the point where they feel as if they have explained everything, it seems incredibly stupid.

The characters are also immensely unlikeable, the father and husband in the "main family" comes off as a paranoid douche and the mother of said "main family" is expressionless.

Do not watch this unless you want to bore yourself to death.