Review of Dark Shadows (2012) by Wesley J — 15 Apr 2013

Starts out strong, but ultimately falls apart. And it falls apart really hard and all over the place (I know, she said that) When the shift in tone goes from gothic/horror/comedy to comedy/lame/comedy it looses all its momentum and makes the remaining few gothic/horror scenes feel tired.

It's too bad because the set design is stunning and the actors look like they're having fun. Tim Burton was probably having fun too. That script though......that script.......Seth Grahame-Smith wrote a script with a sauce so weak that I do consider him, as of this day, thoroughly bad at the craft of screenwriting (ever seen Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?) I Haven't read any of his novels, so I can't say he is a bad writer.

Just a bad screenwriter. There are lines of dialogue so utterly immature that I cringed. Jackie Earle Haley's Willie Loomis was one of the most annoying characters in recent memory. The whole Carolyn twist is nothing short of dumb.

Michelle Pheiffer was (along with her character) wasted. To the actor's credit Grahame-Smith's script didn't call for the characters to be likeable or say anything clever very often. I feel especially bad for Eva Green, who turned in a great, sexy performance as Angelique Bouchard.

If this film would have worked out it could have been a considered a breakout performance for her.