Review of Dark Shadows (2012) by Steve W — 22 Jun 2013

Having never been a fan of the series myself, I can not say whether or not this was fact, but I can say Dark Shadows is a bit of an embarrassment. In the film, Johnny Depp takes on another role where he is cursed with the gift of immortal life.

I have always wondered what it would be like to never die, as I have always imagined it would be dreadful (take Captain Jack Sparrow for example). About halfway into this film, I knew what that feeling must be as I was staring at the screen thinking to myself "oh please just kill me now", but nope - I was forced to live on and see one embarrassing scene after the next.

It's not funny, it's not dramatic, it's not scary, it's not really anything; Dark Shadows is just 2 hours of blah. The story is very badly written; there are so many random events that happen with no overall theme to connect them.

During the last twenty minutes you find out the young girl was really a werewolf the entire time, but it has nothing to do with anything in the movie, and no - it's not funny.