Review of Cruising (1980) by John P — 28 Feb 2009

What you want, Natalie?

"TO DRINK AND FIGHT!".

What you need, Natalie?

"TO FUCK ALL NIGHT!".

I sat down to watch this with my friend Lex Mandrake on a rainy Friday night. Instead of a taut thriller directed by my boy, Billy Fried Chicken Wings, I get some stupid exploitative sleazefest that seems like Billyboy stopped giving a shit halfway through. Because I sure did.

It's shot amatuerishly, a far cry from the cinema-verite and picturesque compositions of The French Connection and The Exorcist respectively. Pacino looks doe-eyed the entire time, as if he was popping amyl nitrates offscreen and on. There's some ambiguous homophobia here, as most of the dudes in this movie are portrayed as sexual bulldog predators, leading me to humorously (or not, you pick) state, "So this is how being gay really is.".

So, I guess it's fun to watch Pacino's career slip on a banana peel, but everything's so tired and boring... That... I just may... Fall asleep.

For what it's worth, I left about halfway to drink a bunch of Old Grandad Bourbon Whiskey. Was my drinking attributed to the low quality of this film?

...Ye-.

No.

....Actually, yes.