Review of Creepshow 3 (2006) by Anthony L — 08 May 2007

If movies in which absolutely nothing of consequence happens are your bag, then Creepshow 3 is the movie for you. 104 minutes of nonsensical anti-horror, sprinkled with awful acting and a heavy smattering of the most unfunny version of "comedy" you've ever seen, and you have a film that absolutely disgraces the good franchise name it has managed to latch itself onto.

We open with a crudely animated sequence which would almost be a bit of fun if not for the awful animation. This sequence nontheless contains the greatest amount of style and morbid visualization than all of the live action stuff combined.

We then fade right into the next story. thats right folks, no Creep or comic book here, just cross fades. When the very foundation of your series is the blatant homaging of EC comics titles, the elimination of this motif makes perfect sense, right?

But I digress. The first story, "Alice", should perhaps win some sort of award for being the most nonsensical story in an anthology of inanity, as a young schoolgirl is inexplicably transformed by the universal remote her father recently purchased from a homeless man. There is a semi-explanation later on, but by the time we are treated to the exact same sequence repeated in a different language for the third time in 15 minutes, the movie has already lost our interest. From there on we are treated to several more intertwining stories (think of Pulp Fiction, then wish you were watching it) involving talking radios, vampires, and haunted hot dogs. I shit you not. The only suspense being generated by the endless waiting and wondering if something will happen. Let me save you 104 minutes: Nothing happens.

A few small kudos should go to some decent effects, not GREAT, but decent, and maybe a story or two that manage to initially build some interest, though that wanes very shortly.

I've been waiting for a Creepshow 3 for a long time now. In fact, I'm still waiting.