Review of Creepshow 3 (2006) by Armand E — 21 May 2010

[font=Comic Sans MS]I can already feel my face tightening as I write. What makes people think that just because they can write a bad script for a cult classic series that they should? Seriously, they must have spent all their money on the movie rights because everything else is crap.[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]I am not a stupid person. I wasn't expecting perfect acting, celebrity cameos, or anything along those lines, yet there comes a point in one's life when one should say, "I cannot write, therefore, I will not." "Creepshow" is such a classic. Was it the best movie ever? No, but at least it didn't suck so bad, I felt like snapping the disc in two.[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]Okay, enough ranting and raving. Let's point out the worst offenders in the movie.[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]I did not understand why only one person in a room filled with people was affected by the weird remote. If only one person is affected, shouldn't it be the person holding the remote and not the family member who's furthest away? Why didn't Alice react when her body started getting sores and generally changing? If the remote turns you into what you are inside, doesn't that mean that the family should have changed for better/worse?[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]How does a radio suddenly gain its own life and voice? Why does she pit two people against each other? We know nothing about the radio and just assume she's a bitch.[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]Why does a serial killer who doesn't bother to hide either herself or her weapon never get caught? Especially if she just stabs old homeless people who get too close to her? Seriously, nobody notices?[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]What's going on with the mad scientist? He's neither scary nor funny, and only seems to take up more time to fill out the movie. The short bit about his bride where she gets "dismantled" is almost funny, but is mostly stupid.[/font].

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[font=Comic Sans MS]I won't go on. Trust me, though. Don't watch unless you absolutely have to see how bad it really is.[/font].