Review of Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961) by Paul P — 07 Jun 2007

Dopey Kelp Monster Attacks Phoney Mobsters! :=8O.

Stupid, boring attempt by Roger Corman to blend horror and humor in yet another cheap, cheesy quickie. This time, Corman manages to get Robert Towne (writer of such cinematic gems as Personal Best and Chinatown) to "act" as secret agent XJ150, who attaches himself to a group of brainless mobsters out to steal the Cuban treasury. They manage to cowvince their dim-witted Cuban soldiers that a sea monsters is responsible for killing them, except the real monster shows up to cowfuse the issue. Now, the MooCow uses the term "real monster" pretty loosely here. The "monster" is a swatch of plastic kelp, sporting two ping-pong balls for eyes, and two diver's flippers for feet. It is singularly unscary and unfunny. Betsy Jones-Moreland, a long-time B actress, plays the lounge-singing gun moll with a heart of plaster. When not crooning "Creature from the Haunted Sea", she spends much of the film rolling dice in a bathing suit. Another cretin "talks" in animal sounds, for pretty much no reason. How this miserable moovie managed not to be MST3K-ified, is beyond this cow. Low production values, including audio that sounds like it's projecting from the sea monster's butt, and poor lighting further muddle the film. The MooCow says typical Corman, avoid if possible. :=8P.