Review of Crash (2005) by Kavilion — 23 May 2011

This is the cheesiest, most maudlin self-serving pile of garbage I have ever seen. It was a little hackneyed early, but watchable thanks to decent pace and the occasional laugh. At about the three quarter mark, the cheesefest begins. I have never seen a movie so unintentionally funny. The blanks?

The cloak of protection? "My guardian angel?".

Snow in Los Angeles?

Even one of these events would take a movie over the cheese-limit. Did someone actually get paid to write this? Was it someone they pulled out of a high school creative writing class?

Used correctly, coincidence and the crossing of paths of otherwise unrelated storylines adds poignancy to a story. When you do it 600 times, not only does it lose any meaning - it becomes a joke. There's a tiny shred of something important and meaningful in this movie, but it's completely hidden behind horrible writing, bland acting and a mountain of stereotypes. Honestly - there isn't one believable character in the entire thing. Every single person is exactly what you'd expect...or the exact opposite of what you'd expect. No depth. No shades of gray. I hadn't had a laugh this good in a while, until I started reading some of the reviews of this pile of dreck on this site. I actually saw someone use the word "masterpiece." I laughed so hard I think I peed my pants a little. If you think this movie is a 10, please stop posting movie reviews.