Review of Crank: High Voltage (2009) by Jimo — 09 May 2009

Utter shit! I like the idea of a preposterous un-PC action movie but this was just badly done in every respect. Some guy on here with a mild retardation suggested that this had "honest film making values".

Please explain because what I watched didn't seem to have any values at all. I'm not gonna complain about the plot or script because I didn't expect one so heres what I thought about the action.

The action sequences were poorly executed, the kinetic shaky camera work rendered the stunts and possible choreography visually null and void when compared to most other decent action flicks.The CGI and stunt work would have been groundbreaking pre-Terminator 2.

The two guys directing it should consider changing their style or better yet, their line of work. I can appreciate what they were trying to do but they missed the mark badly. It gets a 3 from me because that's the amount of laughs a got.

Considering they attempt to make the viewer laugh with their crazy, outrageous, shocking (parp) movie about 30 times I should give it a 1. I would have loved this when I was 14. At 16 I would have grown out of it.

At my current age of 26 I just think it's a wasted opportunity to make something exciting and just another way for studios to make money out of gobshite directors and MTV marketing campaigns. I watched 'Death Race' the other night and unexpectedly really enjoyed it.

Thats how you make a brainless action movie Jason. Please leave the Crank franchise alone. Anyone hoping to watch this movie should download it illegally, show it to all their mates so they don't rent it and make the franchise money and then go to the movies and pay to keep decent movies being made.

Any self respecting film fan should avoid this at all cost. Anybody with a low to average low IQ, appreciation of daytime TV and/or lover of turgid American bands/music videos, go see it. You'll love it.

You Twats.