Review of Corpse Bride (2005) by Deanj. — 06 Oct 2005

Let's see... I'm Tiim Burton, and I have to keep busy... I know! I'll make another Halloween picture! I'll capitalize on this niche I've cleverly carved out for myself by using all of the usual ingredients.

And why work too hard at it? A poorly fleshed-out plot will suffice as the skeleton for my story. I'll cast Mr. Depp as my protagonist again, have Mr. Elfman make the music with those spooky chorus girls singing backup to jazzy ghouls' "ain't life grand when it's goth" numbers -- again, and garnish gratuitously with supporting characters right out of Disney's "Contemporary Musical Cartoon for the Whole Family" handbook! Okay, I apologize for the arrogant "alliterative armchair art critic" bit.

But man, I was so sorely disappointed by this movie. Once again I have fallen prey to a trailer that promises more than it can deliver. When will I learn? The bit with the dog ("play dead! Oh, sorry.

") got me into the theater, and was one of the few things that kept me there. This was a beautiful movie to look at. No doubt of that. But... Dude... If you're going to put such a devastating amount of effort into the production, shouldn't you put as much work into the story? And there were so many opportunities to add tasty details to this thing that could have made it a holiday classic -- provided you hadn't hired an 8 year-old to ghost-write your shooting script.

Instead, it looks like... like none of the artists involved were allowed to improvise. It bored me. Depressing. Still... it was pretty to look at.