Review of Cool Hand Luke (1967) by Damion R — 12 Mar 2011

Nominated for five Academy Awards, including Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor and one for its instantly recognizable score, "Cool Hand Luke" is one of the biggest classics of movie history. And, I am sorry to say it, one of the gayest films I have ever seen.

Paul Newman plays Luke Jackson, a man thrown into "prison" for decapitating parking meters while drunk. How this really parlays to a prison sentence, I don't know. However, he gets a two year s on a prison chain gang with other men who had murdered people. Now, maybe I am just too young, but the whole concept of being thrown into prison for public property destruction is ridiculous enough, but to be in the same place as someone who is in for murder? It just seems ridiculous. Even more rididuclous, however, is this prison, which seems like a summer vacation retreat. Yes, they have to work the chain gang every day for hours in the sweltering sun, but other than that, they get to socialize and play cards and drink pop and smoke and they have Saturdays off! Man, hardly scary. Especially seeing this prison is filled with hot, sweaty guys who are predominantly half naked and like to dance.

Hello..gay much?

On top of all this is George Kennedy, who won an Oscar for his role a Dragline, an old pro at prison life who takes such a liking to Luke, he refers to him "my baby" and "my boy." Hello Daddy!

So yes, this film was entetaining but with a plot that, to me, seemed completely and utterly, I'll say it again, ridiculous. Especially seeing it revolves around a man who just cannot be broken and tried to escape this prison repeatedly. I mean, the guy got TWO years in what is practically a country club. Who wouldn't just do the two years and be done with it?

But with all the incredibly gay imagery that besets every single scene of this film, I excused the preposterous plot and just enjoyed watching half naked sweaty men for a couple of hours. Because really, like gay porn, this film doesn't really dive much deeper than that, and all that seperated this film from any gay porn film was simply the (unfortunate) lack of man-on-man sex.