Review of Cool as Ice (1991) by Clark B — 18 Dec 2010

Long lost masterpiece from 1991, still missing on DVD. The prestigious `Razzie` Awards, bestowed annually by the Rasmussen Institute, I believe, fittingly gave their highest prize to this timeless, hard hitting expose of suburban street violence and teenage angst.

Helmed by first time director David Kellogg, best known for his groundbreaking series of 7 Up commercials (`Just like Sprite! YEAH BOIII!`), `Cool as Ice` offers a searing portrait of troubled youth culture and biker justice. Punctuated with straight-from-the-hood musical authenticity, it eschews the typical Hollywood gloss and keeps it real, especially for those tragic, hard to reach white homies. This film, in short, is a word to your mother. Indeed, all our mothers.

Original gangster and musical superstar Vanilla Ice makes his stunning screen debut as a street-wise, rebellious biker masking his inner torment through dope lyrics - lyrics that violently slice like a ninja. While sporting a forbidding, checkerboard fade, his sexual confusion and anger are symbolically represented by a surreal, towering bouffant. Its flamboyant bouncing is a devastating cry for help and displays the astute acting instincts that garnered Ice his own richly deserved `Razzie`. Showing an actor's sense for telling detail, reminiscent of Olivier, he wears his pajamas throughout the movie, a textbook symptom of depression, so that when he poignantly sings the lyrics, `Stop, collaborate and listen`, we do. It cuts so deeply into our souls we have no choice but to listen. And collaborate. We CAN'T look away. When he's buggin, we buggin' too. The world be buggin'. To quote Mr. Ice himself, his words are `like a chemical spill, feasible rhymes that can vision and feel.` So ninja-slicingly true! The feasibilty of his rhymes are never in doubt, they`re like chemical spills of truth. This whole movie is like a chemical spill.

In the pantheon of kitchen sink dramas tackling the difficult problems of youth alienation, and suburban decline, this classic film offers its own modest solution: just add Ice. Vanilla Ice. Let's hope our leaders hear the message. 5 stars.