Review of Conan the Destroyer (1984) by Brandon S — 14 Jul 2009

Conan's entourage grows, as does the amount of humor. The violence has definitely taken a step back from The Barbarian. If it's possible, some of the costumes and special effects are actually cheesier in The Destroyer than they were in The Barbarian.

What makes The Destroyer a little more memorable than The Barbarian is the cast. We probably all remember Wilt Chamberlain as the sinister bodyguard, Grace Jones as the feral amazon, Tracey Walter (if you don't know his name, you definitely know his face) as the wise-cracking sidekick (who actually delivers a couple of really funny lines), Mako in the same role he played in The Barbarian, and the uber-cute Olivia D'Abo as the virgin princess. I had a major crush on her from The Wonder Years and this movie, so it's another reason that I remember a lot more of The Destroyer than I probably would have otherwise.

Conan himself seems to have lost the twin passions of revenge and love that drove him in The Barbarian, and has become little more than a mercenary and errand boy. The final monster that Conan must slay to save the day is incredibly annoying. It's got a really irritating scream/roar that it continues through the entire climactic scene. Basically it seems that the sequel wasn't really taken too seriously and there's a lot of laziness that shows through at times (like the costume for the monster-version of the old wizard, who, by the way, also has a really annoying scream).

Conan The Destroyer is definitely the weaker of a trilogy of Arnold movies that often come on late night TBS (or used to, at least when I was growing up): Conan The Destroyer, Conan The Barbarian, and Red Sonja. I personally love Red Sonja more than the Conan movies, but The Barbarian is not close behind. The Destroyer finishes a distant third, but it's no less memorable than the others.