Review of Conan the Barbarian (2011) by Ilhm — 02 Feb 2013

The ill-conceived CONAN THE BARBARIAN remake is an absolute mess of a film that places bloody violence and over-budgeted effects over character and story. While it attempts to remain closer to the works of Robert E.

Howard, it lacks the heart and epic qualities of Howard's writing. The casting is like a bad joke. Jason Momoa may look the part, but his over-confidence and exaggerated expressions come off as being silly instead of stern and powerful.

There is no consistency whatsoever in the accents or dialects of the various groups of people that Conan encounters in his travels. The world of Hyboria is dramatically reduced as a result, especially considering how quickly Conan is able to travel from land to land in search of his betrayers.

Most of the story and background are related by an unseen narrator, who quickly tries to piece things together for the audience in between the overblown action sequences. Zym is a bland and forgettable villain that would cower before James Earl Jones' Thulsa Doom.

What is worse, the grand scheme that has taken him over 20 years of battling and searching to complete is spoiled in one brief and unsatisfying final conflict. This consists mostly of unbelievable feats and unnecessary computerization.

The only entertainment comes from the absurd amount of bloodshed and heavy reliance on nude wenches. For mindless sword-fighting and mayhem, CONAN is a serviceable action flick, but in all other ways, it is utterly underwhelming.