Review of Conan the Barbarian (1982) by Glenn L — 02 Jun 2009

Never has the term 'They just don't make 'em like they use to' been more fitting than with this particular movie. Compare it to the likes of 300-with its weepy, faux-masculine, MTV dramatized bullshit-and the contrast all but shoots through the roof. Conan the Barbarian is a classy film. John Milius channeled the greats of yesteryear such as Lean, Ford, Hawks and Huston (his own mentor) but kept the signature personal. Milius is the same man who penned Apocalypse Now (and the Indianapolis speech from Jaws) and, as evident with his previous feature The Wind and the Lion, he has a wonderful flare for haughty, stage-like theatrical dialogue. All that aside, this movie just has a great setup of camera work and near-still imagery - Milius respects the master shot. It has the look of a western that's been tempered with Frank Frazetta's artwork. I've been a hardcore REH follower ever since the old man first introduced me to the pulp world. Atmospherically speaking-and much regarding the character's origins-this film is not an exact match to the source material, but it's pretty damn close - a fitting interpretation by a filmmaker whose nutty, pro-colonialism, right-wing antics transmit distantly on the same wavelength as Howard's paranoia and macho infatuation with all things sword and strength.

This is also Schwarzenegger's best performance. Maybe that's not saying a lot, but as far as charisma goes Arnold is undeniably gifted with screen presence. He has the perfect look for the character: those brutish Germanic/Indo-European features and a great scowl every time he brains victims. But really, he even delivers his lines with the utmost conviction and in the final scene opposite Thulsa Doom there is genuine acting taking place; Conan's reaction to Doom's 'truth' is as credible as any.

Crom would be pleased with this film.