Review of Commando (1985) by Philip J — 26 Oct 2011

Are you familiar with the term "guilty pleasures"? I am referring to those films out there which are not necessarily high art, but are highly entertaining. I am talking about those movies which have been blasted by critics everywhere, yet in your heart, you still cherish these flicks. Admit it, you love these movies...

Well today, I am going to talk about one of my greatest guilty pleasures ever: the Arnold Schwarzenegger action vehicle known as Commando. The high and mighty professional movie critics out there have criticized Commando for its improbable premise, juvenile script, continuity errors, and gratuitous violence (and yes, a bit of nudity) galore. Leonard Maltin describes Commando as an, "Exceptionally noisy comic-book yarn...largely obliterated by all the noise and mindless violence.".

Yet, I loved this movie. Sure, this film is notorious for its many fallacies, but quite frankly, I do not give a damn. Commando has everything I, the devoted action film lover, wants including my favorite muscle-bound hero in a starring role. This is the type of movie that makes me proud of being an action film fan.

Colonel John Matrix (Ah-nold) served as the leader of a specialty task force but is now retired and living a peaceful life in a secluded cabin with his daughter, Jenny (a preteen Alyssa Milano). His tranquil life is shattered when his former superior, Gen. Kirby (James Olson), informs him that someone is killing his former men. Kirby requests Matrix's services again, but of course he declines at first. However, he is then truly coerced out of retirement and propelled back into action when a group of "patriotic" bad guys--naturally, the same bad guys responsible for killing Matrix's men--have kidnapped his precious daughter. The villains behind this are Arius (Dan Hedaya), an ex-dictator who wants his leadership status restored, and Bennett (Vernon Wells) a former subordinate of Matrix turned renegade. These bad guys have an ultimatum for Matrix: either he must assassinate the current political leader of an anonymous Latin American country so that Arius can regain the throne, or else...his daughter will be sent back to him...in pieces.

It is then that we discover the true nature of John Matrix as the ultimate one-man fighting machine who is well-trained in hand to hand combat and well-armed with plenty of intimidating weapons. Matrix is ready and prepared to whoop ass. Unfortunately, he has only eleven hours to accomplish his mission and save his daughter...

Commando very much signifies the action film from the 1980s: high on testosterone, low on logic. It is a very gung-ho action film where our hero is pitted against unspeakable odds, and of course, he must somehow triumph as the victor. This film is so over-the-top that it is impossible to resist relishing it. I think Commando rules; I do not care what everybody else has to say. This is a good old-fashioned action flick where it is easy and fun to root for the good guy. You can call me crazy but I just love an action film with lots of carnage and zero pretensions.

The action in this flick is truly unbelievable and frankly, I have no idea where the hell to start. Well, one of my favorites is the crazy action sequence taking place inside a shopping mall. Mind you, no less than two-dozen security guards must have been monitoring this mall. Here, you get to see our man Arnold swinging from the ceiling like he is George of the Jungle. Seriously. You also get to see him somehow managing to lift an entire telephone booth all by himself. (And no, rubbing your eyes is not necessary.).

However, that action sequence is pretty tame compared to our hero's climactic one-man assault on the bad guys' island fortress. How can I describe it? Well, it pretty much rivals anything I have seen made by John Woo, and that says a lot. Just picture an angry, vengeful guy on a mission, ready and willing to take on an entire army. In this climactic showdown, our hero also utilizes a wide variety of weapons ranging from high-tech artillery such as a rocket launcher to simple tools such as an axe, pitch folk, and a buzz saw. Yes, you read that correctly...

Matrix's assault on the bad guys' base is one of the coolest, rowdiest action sequences I have ever seen. It is a tour-de-force of firepower and flying bodies. Watch the bad guys go flying as they are being blown away.

The action scenes in Commando are very well done. The excellent cinematography makes the action look more colorful and dynamic. Ardent fans of mindless action flicks will find themselves in ecstasy. Another side note: as Matrix, Arnold Schwarzenegger claims that he performed most of his own dangerous stunts and fight scenes. Quite frankly, I believe him. He shows his true athleticism in this movie as he puts on an impressive show.

The performances themselves are a lot of fun and it looks like most of the cast members are having a good time. Arnold Schwarzenegger is perfect for the role as the virtually insuperable John Matrix. No other actor could have done a better job. Schwarzenegger himself is an iconic symbol; he personifies the larger-than-life action hero who goes out of his way to combat the forces of evil. He is the nearly superhuman hero we love to root for. Rae Dawn Chong is also surprisingly great as Matrix's ally who softens the film's tone with her antics and Vernon Wells is appropriately mean and arrogant as an adversary who wants to prove he is superior to Matrix. And let us not forget Alyssa Milano before her foray into erotic soft-core movies. As Matrix's daughter in this movie, she has that adorable demeanor you cannot help but love.

For pure entertainment, you cannot beat Commando. This film easily ranks as one of the most impressive action blockbusters I have ever had the pleasure of seeing (though I admit that I enjoyed films such as Hard Boiled more). With its outrageous scenario, outlandish action, a wry sense of humor, and an indomitable hero, Commando is the ideal popcorn movie. This is one of those instances where it is better to just sit back and enjoy this film for what it is: a joyride which will not strain your brain.

If you are the type who is going to act fidgety over the general implausibility of the movie, then you need to "let off some steam". Nobody takes this film seriously, not even the filmmakers themselves (at least I hope not). So why should you?

In order to fully appreciate this movie, you have to realize you are not watching Lawrence of Arabia. Taking this film at face value, Commando is one of the biggest and boldest films ever made in the history of action cinema. And for all you Commando lovers out there, there is no need to feel ashamed for liking this movie.