Review of Commando (1985) by Michael T — 25 Nov 2012

Arnie followed up THE TERMINATOR with this action film in which he spouts so-bad-they're-good deadpan one-liners while he massacres everone who stands in his way. he ressurects the "Uzi nine-millimetre" and "forty-five Longslide" from THE TERMINATOR and borrows Rambo's bowie knife and M60 along with Jason's axes and machetes to shoot down or cut down his opponents and if he runs out of ammo for one assault weapon, he picks up another one.

Vernon Wells was the evil wez in THE ROAD WARRIOR and the Governator must face him before he finally rescues his daughter (is it just me, but was Wes channelling Freddie Mercury in his appearance and over-the-top scenery-chewing performance?).

Alyssa Milano would soon be playing Tony Danza's daughter on TV before becoming the star in the 1990s CHARMED TV series as well as becoming, to quote Tom Jones, a "sex bomb." In this film she plays the daughter of Arnie's retired Extra-Special Forces officer (do real people have names like John Matrix?) who plays a gutsy 1985 tween who engineers a pretty daring Nancy Drew-type escape from her captors.

With Dan Hedaya as the exiled ex-generalissimo of a Mission Impossible-style Latin American dictatorship (this film is pretty far removed from the actual real politics of the era BTW) who hires Wells along with David Patrick Kelly and Bill Duke to round out his private army.

Rae Dawn Chong is along for the ride as a flight attendant who is a student pilot and channels Kate Capshaw's character in the second Indiana Jones movie. Veteran TV actor James Olson who normally played the bad guy gets to play a good guy and Arnie's former commanding officer who shows up with the cavalry too late to actually help out.