Review of Collateral Beauty (2016) by Johnny T — 28 Feb 2017

Collateral Beauty is a pretty terrible movie, but it left me with one overarching thought: My life, and surely yours, too, would be vastly improved if only Helen Mirren were perpetually lurking nearby, offering advice. Pretentious and manipulative, the movie bludgeons viewers with its new age philosophizing and its desire to be considered meaningful. I don't think I've witnessed a film this year that managed to so completely and utterly collapse into crass garbage in its last few minutes while abusing what little good will it has. Collateral Beauty is ultimately as mushy a movie as the phrase itself, whose definition is never fully explained by the script. It's another example of something sounding good but meaning little. Collateral Beauty never manages to shake off its all-too-deliberate air or willingness to follow the easiest path. Its life lessons are packaged with cloying, overt mawkishness which aren't quite the feel-good home run Frankel seems to expect. Well-meaning but fundamentally flawed, Collateral Beauty aims for uplift but collapses in unintentional hilarity. The ending twist-dives so deep into maudlin sappiness that we're left snorkelling through syrup. Collateral Beauty had the potential to be great, yet even with a stellar cast and a seemingly heartwarming idea, the film failed to deliver what it promised its viewers.

VERDICT: "Not So Hot" - [Negative Reaction] These films are truly terrible films. They are not the worst things ever made, but they are definitely awful and should not be seen by anyone. (Films that are rated 1.5 or 2 stars).