Review of Collateral Beauty (2016) by Patrick L — 15 Jun 2017

"I hate to borrow a Bart Simpson catchphrase but Ay, Caramba! is this movie terrible. What is "Collateral Beauty" even about? And Will Smith what were you thinking of?".

DVD Movie Review: Collateral Beauty.

Date Viewed: March 28 2017.

Directed By David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada, Hope Springs, The Big Year and Marley & Me).

Written By Allan Loeb.

Starring: Will Smith, Edward Norton, Jacob Latimore, Keira Knightley, Michael Pena, Helen Mirren, Naomie Harris, Kate Winslet, Mary Beth Peil, Enrique Murciano, Kylie Rogers and Ann Dowd.

I hate to borrow a Bart Simpson catchphrase but Ay, Caramba! is this movie terrible. Screenwriter Allan Loeb's continuing resume of mediocre efforts continues to roll on with "Collateral Beauty". What is it even about? I lost interest in "Collateral Beauty" immediately and I started to laugh out loud at it's absurdity. The movie stars Will Smith as a man who's dealing with the sudden loss of his young daughter and he starts writing letters to Love, Time and Death in order to seek out answers from the universe.

The premise alone will make people laugh and I'm really surprised that this talented cast which includes Smith, Edward Norton, Helen Mirren, Kate Winslet, Keira Knightley, Naomie Harris and Michael Pena took this material seriously. "Collateral Beauty" is emotionally dishonest, trite and sickly manipulative. Smith plays Howard Inlet who three years ago was a highly successful advertising executive living in New York but after his six-year-old daughter died from cancer, Howard is now a sad and depressed loner who really likes to build domino structures. I've seen a lot of actors frown before but not like Smith in "Collateral Beauty", he frowns like he's being forced to do this contrived mess at gunpoint.

Howard's friends and business associates, Whit Yardshaw (Edward Norton), Simon Scott (Michael Pena) and Claire Wilson (Kate Winslet) are very concerned about him because they can't get through to him and they fear he might sabotage the company's future. Howard wants to get answers into how his daughter died so he writes letters to Love, Time and Death. Listen Fresh Prince of Bel-Depressionland, I know you'll never get over your daughter's death but move on for crying out loud. Writing letters to three godly beings who probably don't exist is not going to solve anything.

Thinking that Howard is mentally insane which he really is, Whit, Simon and Claire hire a private investigator, Sally Price (Ann Dowd) to see if Howard is unfit to run his own company. When they get a hold of Howard's letters, Whit, Simon and Claire plot a major scheme on Howard by hiring three struggling performers, Amy (Keira Knightley), Raffi (Jacob Latimore) and Brigitte (Helen Mirren) to masquerade as Love, Time and Death. Knightley is Love, Latimore is Time and Mirren is Death. The only reason these three friends are doing this to their emotionally damaged friend is because they want him to make him look cuckoo-cuckoo-cuckoo so they can sell the company from under him.

What kind of friends do this type of thing? That's the kind of evildoing thing Hillary Clinton and George Soros would do if they rigged the primaries against Bernie Sanders. OOPS! Was that too much? But wait a minute! We later find out that Whit, Simon and Claire have their own personal misdeeds to deal with, Whit is struggling to reconnect with his teenage daughter, Alison (Kylie Rogers) because he cheated on mom which lead to divorce and their estranged relationship, Claire is having trouble conceiving a child because she can't find a good sperm donor and she has neglected her own life for years and Simon is secretly battling cancer and he doesn't want his wife and newborn son to find out. Meanwhile during a grief support group, Howard befriends Madeleine (Naomie Harris), a woman who also lost her daughter to cancer. Hmmmm...... Could this lead to something so unbelievable and preposterous?

"Collateral Beauty" is one of those movies that's so amazing and completely bonkers you can't believe it actually exists. The movie was directed by David Frankel who made a really fun movie about fashion called "The Devil Wears Prada" and "Hope Springs" which also starred Meryl Streep and had insight into human behavior and how normal people can fix themselves. If you look at this movie more carefully if you decide to rent it for your own goofy pleasure, Will Smith is actually barely in this movie. He disappears for long stretches of time leaving cast members such as Norton, Winslet, Knightley and Mirren to foot the bill.

"Collateral Beauty" makes it's collateral damage by wasting this tremendous cast of fine and talented actors. Allan Loeb (Here Comes the Boom, Just Go With It, Rock of Ages, The Switch, 21, The Dilemma) can't write anything good and Will Smith should really know better.