Review of Cloverfield (2008) by Sander Brækken S — 03 Apr 2018

Cloverfield; The Movie of The Marketing Campaign of The Trailer which was in all likelihood based on The T-Shirt. Well that's how it feels.

Months of hype have done their job; where Snakes on a Plane's internet campaign caused little more than a wry smile, Cloverfield generated the kind of excitement not seen about an unknown movie since Blair Witch, and it's easy to see who's been behind this. A recent interview with director Reeves saw him discuss how he and the movie's creator J.J. Abrams liked a film's packaging as much as it's content (I paraphrase but it was some old guff about boxes). Well that's all we've got here; it's a remarkably shinny package, but there's nothing, I mean, NOTHING inside.

Cloverfield has a simple, brilliant concept - Give the sci-fi terrorist, sorry, monster flick a modern overhaul with post 9/11 paranoia and digital camera images. On these terms, the movie delivers, both in the effects carnage caused by the terrorists, sorry, monster, but also in the quieter moments, where it truly counts. We've all seen that grand image of Lady Liberty's head crunching through the streets. Spectacular and fun in itself, it's impact doubles when the dust settles and we see the crowd stare at the wreckage in shock, with only the sound of car alarms for company. It all feels horribly, horribly real. Arguments of bad taste aside, it's a powerful exploitation of those images we got from New York some years ago.

And that's where the dubious praise ends because, unfortunately, we're saddled through this rip-roaring adventure with 2-dimensional, pretty yet pretty dull, teen-scream wankers. And they're unbelievably stupid; why don't they loot some weapons if they're going to steal a phone battery? Why doesn't she apply pressure to that wound straight away? And, for God's sake, why doesn't he TURN THE CAMERA OFF AND HELP. I don't need characters to be nice, or even well written in a horror movie but these vapid O.C.-like interactions and motivations jar with the movie's documentary stylings.

It's worse than having no sympathy - they actually ruin the film you're trying to enjoy.

Like Lost or Alias, Cloverfield proves J.J. Abrams strength as an 'ideas' man, but one who's unable to deliver truly satisfying content. There's feck all inside his boxes. Can you imagine the disappointment on Christmas morning in the Abrams household?