Review of Cliffhanger (1993) by Josh G — 12 Jun 2009

Cliffhanger is basically another Tango & Cash from Sly, minus Cash and with a little bit more believability. Take note: I say "a little", as there are still mountains of inhuman acts which take place within the film, ranging from incomprehensible evasions of gunfire to unbelievable escapes by Sly from ice-cold water while wearing no shirt. Yeah.

The story tells of Sly (I call him Sly because I feel that after seeing him in The Italian Stallion, I know him well enough to refer to him in the familiar), who here is an expert rock-climber rescuer. In an opening scene, he accidentally drops the girlfriend of a fellow climber and when the movie resumes a couple of years later, he is racked by guilt. He doesn't want to climb again. But circumstances force him to head back up the icy mountain passes to help save a group of stranded hikers... who turn out to be criminals who hold both Sly and his partner as prisoners while trying to search out three suitcases full of cash which have landed somewhere in the mountain range.

The reason that Sly had to go up on the mountain is that, being Sylvester Stallone, he is obviously indestructible. At one point, the evil-without-any-real-reason mastermind behind the diabolical plan to steal all the briefcases full of money (Lithgow) tells Sly to climb a rock face without a coat in what are certainly sub-zero temperatures. His friend is irate, claiming that Sly could die from the cold. Tsk, tsk. How little you know, my friend, how very little you know. Of course Sly lives, and quite easily too. Like the proverbial Chuck Norris, Sylvester Stallone is immune to all horrors, both man-made and natural. He is a do-good machine who will invariably save the day, regardless of the impossibilities involved.

And so, through most of the runtime, Sly is climbing up immense and amazing rock walls. He is clinging to half-destroyed rope bridges, which are swinging across great chasms. He is dropping into deep caves and always, always landing on his feet.

In short, Cliffhanger is mostly ridiculous. There's a scene early on when Sly is driving alongside two gnarly surfer dudes who are cast as, I don't know, snowboarders, maybe, for this film. Oh no, wait, they are skydivers who jump off the mountain to get their kicks. Regardless, Sly and the skydivers drive side-by-side and have a long conversation without looking at the road once, all while, again, driving side-by-side down an ice and snow covered road. That's just one of the many preposterous things that happen within the film.

But, you know, whatever. It's not difficult to look past that because it's expected. Once you get past the nonsense, Cliffhanger is a pretty enjoyable action flick. The action scenes are certainly exciting, as many of them were actually performed in real life and are not the result of special effects. Lithgow's evil maniac is inexplicably evil, but it works here: the viewer can never be sure to what lows he will sink to get his way, and so even though it's pretty much a given that Sly will save the day, one can never be truly sure what Lithgow's character will do to ensure that things turn out beneficial for himself.

The credits roll rather suddenly after the final confrontation ends. What, there's no falling action in Cliffhanger? But, you know, if you are aware of what you're getting into: an implausible yet adrenaline-fueled action adventure, then you'll pretty much be rewarded with exactly what you were expecting.