Review of Clash of the Titans (2010) by Chads — 06 Apr 2010

Dressed in a shiny white tunic, Liam Neeson looks like he'd rather be starring in Robert Greenwald's "Xanadu", but rollerskating isn't an Olympian sport. It's hard to be omnipotent when you're a fashion victim.

Laurence Olivier, on the other hand, wore a more befitting tunic(basically, a toga) in the original "Clash of the Titans". He was a God's God. His Zeus wouldn't be caught dead wearing something so gawdy(gawd-y).

One look at Zeus, and it's no wonder that Hades(played by Ralph Fiennes, who has enough self-defeating hair outgrowths to be a "Battlefield Earth" extra) thinks he can outsmart his brother.

When the Greek people of Argos declare war on the gods, Zeus should handle the insurrection by himself. He's the "Father of Gods and men", after all. Why is he taking advice from Hades? Olivier's Zeus was a badass, a wrathful deity who didn't need the god of the underworld to do his bidding.

If you're backtracking to the 1981 Desmond Davis-directed flick, Zeus' expedient, wholly irrational need for vengeance is downright jarring next to the current old(old, old, old, old...) softie interpretation of the all-mighty posed by Neeson, who only accedes to Hades' machinations as a last resort.

Like "Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief", the filmmaker contemporizes Zeus. The concerned father doesn't give Persius(Sam Worthington) the keys to the car(chariot), but he does give his son some spending money(a gold coin in order to bribe the ferryman) for his big night out at the bog.

While the new "Clash of the Titans" improves on the listless narrative of the original, it's less bold in the sense that it uses a reductionist approach to Greek mythology. Hades is an absolutely extraneous character, but morally ambiguous gods(e.

G. Maggie Smith's Thetis) wouldn't sit well with a studio-sanctioned focus group. In the original, the Kraken belongs to Poseidon. If anything, Hades exists, perhaps, for the sole purpose of being a dangerous pet owner.