Review of Clash of the Titans (2010) by Maineutral R — 11 Jan 2014

I can watch this movie many times only to laugh about it. The story has no sense, it has inconsistent following, quick and unreachable narrative, clumsy characters and lackluster action scenes. I was expecting a much better remake of a classic, but I guess the studio said: "Good remake? No, that's what they're expecting us to do...".

The worst detail of Clash of the Titans is the script: flawed, full of clichés, quick but not learner, extremely straight to the point, lack of emotional development, etc.; it just can't keep up with itself. I can summary the bad quality of its script by just saying that the script is so bad it doesn't even bother in naming all the characters, just barely. Special effects are great, when it comes to the Scorpions, the size of the Kraken, the Gods, the Witches, that is OK, what is not is the design and execution of most of them: The Scorpions are the best approached in the movie, and it's one of the first action scenes when the tin plot is happening; Calibos have a couple of good action scenes but the design is lackluster, and drowns in comparison with the original Calibos from the 1981 version; Medusa's design here is way too fashion, they even get as far as to put a fashion model's face into it, while the original was straight-ugly, but also terrifying. And the Kraken? Yeah, the size is good, but the design and execution is bland, it doesn't even look like a sea monster of anything from Greek mythology. However, I thought the Pegasus looked better than the original, the black color made him look cooler. In terms of design and execution, is hit and miss.

The overall action scenes are quick and most of them are replaced by vague and drown-out dialogue, which never lives up and end up being bare excuses for quick character placement instead of development. NONE of the characters reaches an emotional attachment, but what can you expect from characters which names we can't even remember. There's like a total of 3 reliable action scenes, the rest is average stuff. But what about the scenarios? Well, to be fair, those are awesome and even epic. The environment, the atmosphere, the size of the green-screen locations, it's all truly epic. The score by Ramin Djwadi (Iron Man, 2008) is not Oscar-worthy but manages to be epic too, specially the main theme "There Is A God In You", helps the epic feeling of the sets and is the only emotional resonance we can recall from the movie, because the characters surely can't. And as previously said, the special effects are great. But what is the best detail about this movie? My guess, based on my many returns to this movie, is the epic size and scope it couldn't reach, but you can feel is there. There's something about this movie I like a lot, it's so bad it's good, it's so drown-out is kinda epic. It's so lackluster it entertains. A perfect example is the climax with the Kraken at Argos: It's a demigod in a black Pegasus, flowing in the air while a giant Kraken pursues him, while excerpts of Hades also pursues him, while on the open sea in the middle of the city of Argos while a Princess is hanging on the air outside of the most epic Greek dome you'll ever see while the demigod tries to get Medusa's head back...if a videogame had that as the final boss scenario, it would be the epicest game ever. True, it doesn't worth it, but damn, they were close to be epic.

Clash of the Titans fails big time, but much like many bad movies, there's something loveable about it. It's hard to find, but it's there. It's a lackluster epic, but the word epic stays there. I have watched it a million times already, and I'm sure I'll watch it a million times more.

Bubo...